You Can't Make Mistakes.

Figure this one out.

Question: A bulldozer is traveling toward the wall at the Gaza/Egypt border. If it strikes the wall at 25km per hour from a distance of 30 meters, how many Gazans will cross the border in the next week?

Answer: 800,000

Yeah, I just came up with that. I know. I’m hilarious. Go.

Smalltalk backfires to my advantage.

I am really bad at smalltalk. I hate talking about things that I don’t care about or am not interested in, so I am not good at bringing them up.

Now, we all know that when you have nothing to say, you talk about the weather. Well, I was in a cab today for a rather long time on my way to Medinat Nasr, and I brought up the weather. Mostly, I brought it up because I wanted to know a few things and learn some words that I didn’t know so I asked the cabbie about the recent barrage of rain and storms in Cairo.

Apparently, I wasn’t very clear about what I was asking, or he misunderstood me—both of which are likely—because rather than telling me whether it was normal or not to receive this much rain in Cairo, he told me the average prices for a taxi from almost every point in the city and suburbs to almost any other point. It was all I could do not to get out my notebook and voice recorder. I could write a grid guide for this and make a million dollars. I might still anyway: I retained most of the information in my steel-trap brain.

Apparently, to get from Downtown to Medinat Nasr, 20 LE is normal. Back is about the same. To get from downtown to Zamalek and vice versa: 5 LE. Round trip?: 8-10 LE. Mohandessin to the airport: 40-55 LE depending on traffic. Airport to anywhere else?: 40-70 LE depending on how foreign you look. He actually said that to me, by the way.

Now, this information is particularly valuable because there are no standard prices for anything. The meters in the cabs are never turned on, though each cab has one. You can take cabs that are more like cabs in major cities in the United States, but they are more expensive, and often more comfortable. The only basis that you have for prices in cabs here is what you know and what people have told you.

I thought that maybe this guy might have been inflating the prices a bit for me, but we seemed to have pretty good rapport and his data tracked with what seemed to make everyone happy from my experience haggling over cab fair. So, I figure that he was actually being honest. At the end of the day, the prices are still ridiculously cheap when compared with prices in the United States. Many things are beginning to level out, but cab fare is still one of those things that is just cheaper here.

For instance, for a Chicago cab-ride equivalent to the one that I took today, I would have paid $70-80 US each way. Instead, I paid 50 LE, equivalent to about $9.00 US. I can’t argue with that.

Today was definitely a lesson in “If You Don’t Know What You’re Doing, You Can’t Make Mistakes.” If I had stopped the guy and tried to turn the conversation back to the weather, I would never have learned this crucial and potentially valuable information. Instead, I benefited from the mindset of someone who is happy to let information wash over him in waves, just hoping to take in anything he can.

Try it. You might learn something by accident.

Lovelies, Gaza, and more.

Here I am in Second Cup again, about to order mine, and that artful masterpiece by the Black Eyed Peas, Lovely Lady Lumps just came on the PA. If you can’t ascertain from the title of this gem, it is a song about feminine anatomy, and quite filthy. I am trying to figure out how this stuff gets played in Egypt of all places, no matter the location. I fear that I am turning into a complete puritan. I have always thought of myself as liberal, but good Lord. Maybe it is more a matter of taste.

In other news, I will never connect to the internet from my apartment. At least, not in the foreseeable future. I knew that there might be complications with moving and having DSL connected in yet another place, but I never thought it would be this bad. It is a simple process complicated by endless bureaucracy. Figure it out Telecom Egypt.

My friend Mamoon recently had his phone line switched because of complications with his DSL. Somehow, in the month that he was on vacation out of Alexandria, the company managed to actually switch his phone number! They couldn’t figure out what was wrong with his internet for weeks and then said, “Oh! It is because you have a different phone number now!” ???!!!

There are no words for how stunningly, dazzlingly ridiculous that is.

Ah well, nothing to be done about it.

Before I go though, check out what is happening in Gaza at Rafah on the Egyptian border right now. Pretty crazy. I guess someone had to figure out a way to survive. Well done everyone.

Pressure on Gaza’s Border Mounts – 24. January 2008

Egypt ‘won’t force Gazans back’ – 23. January 2008

Gazans flood through Egypt border – 23. January 2008

Climate Change? Maybe

It has rained for the past two days in Cairo. This is a little odd, as it very rarely rains in Cairo. In fact, it is one of the driest urban areas in the world. Last night we even had a thunderstorm. I certainly wasn’t expecting that.

Anyone else having odd weather where you are?

I am not going to write about what is going on in Gaza right now, except to say that I believe it to be unjust. It would be considered unjust by the world community if it were happening anywhere else, to anyone else.

Rather, here are some of the thoughts of the people whose commentary I read. Perhaps they will be of interest to you.

In Two Hours All of the Gaza Strip Will Sink into Darkness Completely – Mona Elfarra

Israeli Atrocity on Gaza Citizens – Juan Cole

I hope that we all stop to ponder this in those ephemeral moments when we stop worrying about which talking-puppet might or might not be elected president in more than half a year.

So Dry.

I have noticed a phenomenon recently since I have been relegated to the Second Cup in my neighborhood for internet access. A great many of the people that I see here do something that I absolutely cannot do. They eat dry-looking pastries without the aid of a coffee. It is customary to see someone come in, order a croissant with chocolate, sit down, eat it (with a fork), and then either order some sort of juice or just leave.

Now, I like my pastry and coffee. I will walk in, order a chocolate-chip or blueberry muffin, a double americano (black) and enjoy the pastry by dipping it in the coffee. This is the custom where I’m from. I understand that it is definitely not here, as the Second Cup barristas are always attempting to trick me into putting sugar and milk in my coffee. I have never noticed the dry-pastry phenomenon until now. However, now that I have noticed it in one place, I see it everywhere. People eating sick-sweet, dry pastries and cakes without the aid of a beverage. I can’t do it. I’ll either choke or pass out from the sugar.

Any thoughts? Does anyone out there eat without drinking?

That might have been a little provocative for a headline

So, I am sitting in a foreign-chain-franchise coffee shop right now checking my e-mail and the theme-song from “Shaft” came on. It was remixed with Arabic-sounding instruments and—oh yes— sung in Arabic. Fantastic.

I will take this any day, since the musical fare in these places is usually a heinous mix of ocarina-infused, elevator-style covers of American songs from 1980-1992 played on a loop, punctuated by the live instrumental version of “Hotel California.” Seriously. Awful.

What is with the ocarina? Worst. Instrument. Ever.

Swing your partner, Do-Si-Do.

Just as an FYI, I am going to be in less-frequent blogging mode again. I just moved to an apartment in Cairo, thereby losing my hard-fought internet connection. Square one. Now I must begin the process all over again. I have learned some things along the way, though, and these will help me considerably. Not to mention that I am physically and mentally incapable of getting upset about not having an internet connection since Mamoon programmed my brain to giggle every time I hear the word “internet.”

However, I have access to a connection at the BCA, so perhaps I will still be able to post with relative frequency. I also have a couple of new podcasts in the trunk. They just need to be finished up and then I will send them your way.

And again, with any luck, inshallah, I will soon have my apartment connected to the internet.

I just giggled out loud. Seriously.

Shameless plug to follow.

You can also listen live through the magic of the internet by going to WBEZ.org.

Reduce? Reuse? Recycle? Answer: Throw my Garbage on the Ground!

There is a garbage problem in Egypt. The problem is that there is garbage everywhere. People throw garbage out of their windows, in the street, from the tram, on the ground, in alleys, in abandoned buildings, the river, canals, drains, holes in the street/sidewalk, under cars, around corners… I need not list every single place, nook and cranny in Egypt. Though, rest assured, if there is a nook or a cranny in Egypt, it likely has garbage in it.

There are many reasons for this, I am sure. We can cite economic reasons, education, public awareness, etc. While those reasons all have their particular arguments, they are all bullshit. The truth of the matter is simply that no one cares. That and there are not public waste receptacles, or when there are they are full.

A recent demonstrative anecdote: I was sitting in the coffee house around the corner from my apartment and noticed that there was a guy who would come along every day or so and just dump the two garbage receptacles sitting across the street onto the sidewalk and the roll them away. I watched this happen numerous times. The receptacles we always back in place, or had been replaced, the next day.

One afternoon, whilst sipping my Earl Grey, I noticed that the guy came up to the garbage bins and couldn’t move them. They had been chained and padlocked to a nearby lamp-post. He looked pissed off, then he started talking to an old man leaning out of the window of a nearby first-floor apartment. They chatted for a while and the guy left.

About fifteen minutes later, he returned and handed an extension cord to the old man, who presumably plugged it in somewhere. To the other end of the cord, he attached a wheel-grinder which he employed in grinding through links in the chains.

Then, he removed the chain, dumped the garbage on the sidewalk, collected his cord and rolled the bins away.

Well done everyone.

I am sure that this guy had a job to do. He probably worked for the garbage collection system, which is improving. I am not questioning his motives, just his methods.

Convervationism and environmentalism is relatively non-existent here, as well. Here is a recent Onion article on the topic. This, unfortunately is about the only way that you could get people to notice that there is an environmental problem. It would be like telling Americans that they can have no more cheeseburgers because we have destroyed and squandered the resources that make them possible. Oh, wait… Nevermind.

Joking aside, this problem is endemic here. Conservation and environmental sciences are relegated to the academic world, such as it is, and see very little real action. Some government initiatives, minor interest here and there, but as for real results: nothing. Air pollution is at an all-time high, water pollution is terrifying, and garbage—as said—is everywhere.

This is not to say that there is not hope. Recently, I attended a presentation/workshop on climate change at an Alexandria high school. My friend Mohamed Zakzouk—graduate student in engineering and environmental policy at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario—conducted the workshop portion of the event. The purpose of this event was to raise awareness about environmental concerns and to encourage dialogue between parents and students. The results were interesting. Few parents participated, but the students were really into it. With any luck, this sort of thing will be a precursor to later interest in environmental concerns and will encourage students to take an everyday approach to them.

In the mean time, I am not sure what can be done. As with many problems here, the approach to environmental problems—and even just cleaning up the garbage which proliferates the streets—seems to be one of, “Well, what can I do? I’m just one person.” Perhaps laws about littering would work. Then there would be the problem of arbitrary enforcement, and the net result would be minimal.

I will have to be content that I have tried to lower my waste footprint here as much as possible, and maybe lead by example: attempting to re-use containers, purchasing vegetables at the market (and carrying them home in my bookbag), picking up garbage and depositing it in proper receptacles, when possible (which really gets some interesting looks: I did this one afternoon and watched a group of kids watching me all throw their soda cans on the ground and walk away). In addition, I take public transportation, I try not to take cabs and if I do, I try to share them with others. I use compact fluorescent lights in my apartment, and turn things off when I am not using them.

These are no different than my behaviors in the United States, though. In fact, in the U.S., my housemates and I would be called tree-huggers for the amount of composting, reusing, recycling, and garbage collection that we do. I am fine with that if it helps me and anyone else to not have to walk over a pile of garbage to get to their door.

This is one of those “one-at-a-time” problems. The answer lies not in legislation (though it helps to encourage behavior) or in pouring money on awareness programs. It lies, as Mohamed pointed out in his workshop, in asking ourselves: “What can I do?” and asking each other: “What can we do together?”